Greetings! After much research and development (on many different test subjects), Aperture Science is finally proud to release their Handheld Portal Device! Soon you will be able to use portals to pass through walls, travel to your upstairs or fall FOREVER!

Now that all those pleasantries are over, Aperture Science Laboratories are looking for more test subjects! Sign up today!

Unfortunately, NECA is making the Portal gun, so it won’t actually be able to make portals, but at least the gun still looks cool! It’s full scale, and it will light up (with blue and orange lights), and there’s only going to be 5000 of them made! Now you’re wondering how you can get your hands on one, well that’s easy: just pre-order it from us! We’re expecting it around May, but we’ll ship it as soon as we get it.

Cake, lies, etc.

Remember those RPG patches we have near the cash register? The patches that say “ATK +5″ and “DEF +5″? Well, the Pixel Patches are back, but this time we have some new ones! There’s “+5 Charisma” and has a picture of a fancy tuxedo because everyone knows “the clothes make the man” or woman. Tuxedos increase anyone’s charisma. Recommended for use on tuxedos, suits, fancy hats, and tuxedo t-shirts. The second new patch is “Frost Defense +10″ which is pretty self-explanatory. This patch is recommended for tuques, hats, scarves, mitts, winter jackets, and long johns. Especially long johns.

If you ever needed to prove to your friends nerdy you are, these patches will seal the deal!

The biggest film so far this year is a hit! Hunger Games is based on a series of books that people seem to like – I don’t know much about them, to be honest! It sounds a lot like Battle Royale, or The Running Man, but that doesn’t matter – a good premise is a good premise! Dystopian-future-survival-game-show is rad no matter what movie it’s in.

Since The Hunger Games is such a big deal, we got to get the stuff for it, right? People love merchandise and we love merchandise too! We’re going to be getting the action figures, mini-figures, trading cards, and board game! Wow! The regular action figures are produced by NECA, and the mini-figures are in the style of the HeroClix. We should be getting all this stuff by Thursday or Friday. Come check it out!

I was psyched to hear they were going to make another Ninja Turtles movie. It’s a great franchise and a totally original idea. Well, apparently Michael Bay is producing the new film and he and his crew are changing one detail:

Mutants – Out! Aliens – IN!

That’s right, Mr. Bay is changing the origin story.  The turtles will not be turtles at all, but an alien race that -I assume – are going to look like turtles.

I should be doing that “nerd-rage” thing that seems to be in style at the moment, but instead I’m just confused. I guess it’s ultimately not that important where they come from as long as they’re funny and they know Kung-Fu. But on the flip side, if it’s not that important, then why change it at all? Are mutants not cool enough any more? Did aliens not test well enough with kids? I’m picturing it now: “Mommy, I didn’t like that Mutant Turtle movie. Mutants are stupid, they should have been aliens.”

Gray theorized the change was made so Michael Bay can reuse some space footage from the Transformers movies. I think it’s because Michael Bay fancies himself an auteur and actually makes impenetrable art house films disguised as confusing action movies based on 1980s children’s television licenses.

I’ll be seeing it anyway.

Looking for something to do over March Break? Toys on Fire has just the thing for you! We’re having Pokemon and Beyblade events everyday between 1-3PM! And it’s all free!

We can teach kids some tips and tricks for both Beyblade and Pokemon, or they can just show up and have a casual game from others around the neighbourhood!

We’ve also put our GoGo’s on BoGo for March Break! That’s buy one, get one free, for the uninitiated.

You gotta be here!

I was saddened to hear today that hugely inspirational french artist Jean Giraud, a.k.a. Moebius has died at the age of 78. I may not know his work directly, but his influence can be felt throughout the comic industry. If you’ve ever read Heavy Metal Magazine, you’ve probably seen his stuff, or at least a disciple of his work. He has designed directly for films like Tron, The Abyss, and The Fifth Element.

He truly was an original talent who will be missed. His death is unfortunate, but hopefully this events will spark interest in his work to overdrive.

Excellent! 6 inch Marvel action figures are back from Hasbro! I remember way back when when Hasbro got the Marvel Legends line from Toy Biz, they really made a mess out of things. I mean, those were some ugly-ugly figures. Things had improved a bit by the last set they put out, but then it disappeared! Hasbro replaced Marvel Legends with the ever-impressive Marvel Universe line, but as soon as the novelty wore off, fans craved something a little more substantial. Diamond Select was filling the gap a bit, but what we really needed was the return of Marvel Legends!

I guess Hasbro was listening, because we got it! Hasbro Marvel Legends 2012 is here! Featuring: Constrictor, Ghost Rider, Hope Summers, Iron Man, Marvel’s Klaw, Steve Rogers, and Thor. And it wouldn’t be Marvel Legends without a Build-a-Figure! This time it’s Terrax! Don’t worry, I don’t know who that is either.

It’s not a perfect line, as the Hope Summers figure is a little iffy, but the Ghost Rider and Thor look amazing. And it’s Marvel Legends, so it’s a must for collectors.

We haven’t talked about DC Universe in a while, but they’re still around and just as awesome as ever before! The latest addition to the line is Series 20 featuring the likes of: Hawk, Dove, Green Arrow, Red Arrow, Reverse Flash, Sinestro Corps Sinestro, and White Lantern Flash.

Unfortunately, I’m only really familiar with Green Arrow. If you look at what Green Arrow is all about in terms of “superness”, he appears to be lamer than Aquaman, but for some reason he’s always managed to elevate his coolness higher than the sum of his parts. Maybe it’s his Robin Hood vibe that resonates with us.

Hawk and Dove I’ve heard of, and they have had cameos in comics I’ve read, but I don’t know anything about them.

White Lantern Flash and Sinestro are from the Blackest Night/Brightest Day storylines, although I’m not sure which since I haven’t read them yet.

And I’m just going to assume that Reverse Flash is the slowest man alive. He’s was the little-known third founding member of Sunn 0))) but was fired for playing too slow. He’s incredibly sneaky because his movements are imperceptible to the human eye, and his patience knows no bounds!

But all joking aside, DC Universe is still the best place to get definitive action figures for DC. They just might be the best action figures for super heroes, period. Marvel Universe comes close, but it’s no contest when you compare 3 3/4″ with 6″ figures. Recently, Diamond Select has been a worthy adversary with their Marvel Select line. The sculpts and detail just keep getting better and better! Maybe I’m just a sucker for bigger action figures.