The fat, exploding, puking zombie from Left 4 Dead can be yours soon! Didn’t you always want an action figure of a putrid, bloated ghoul? He even comes apart at the middle just like the exploded version you’d see in the game. Don’t stand to close, or his bile will impede your vision and attract a swarm of geeks!

We have the Boomer for pre-order right now on our site! We’re expecting him sometime in June. I wonder if Mike Patton wants one.

Paramount shortened the title to just Ninja Turtles.  I assume it’s to make it more snappy, marketable, and to dispel any sort of hope that they might go back to the original plot line of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles being mutants, instead of, you know, ALIENS! FFFFFFF- Deep breath! OKAY!

Apparently Kevin Eastman, one-half of the original creative duo for TMNT, is “on board” with the changes. He’s actually writing this script with director Jonathan Liebsman. Keep in mind that this is the same Kevin Eastman who left his Turtle empire at the height of its popularity to publish Heavy Metal Magazine. He also recently sold his warehouse worth of TMNT paraphernalia on eBay. It seemed like he was distancing himself as far from the Turtles as possible, and then suddenly last year, Eastman starting writing for IDW Comics’ latest TMNT reboot.

Peter Laird, the other half of the original creative duo, who had been running the Turtle empire independently for the last 20 years or so (and who recently sold the TMNT rights to Nickelodeon) had this to say about the change: “It’s possible that with enough truly creative brainpower applied to this idea, it might actually work. I’m not saying it’s probable, or even somewhat likely… but it IS possible.” For the record, he was being completely sarcastic.

I’ll be doing my best to ignore every part of the alien storyline and just hope ol’ Jono can deliver on the action!

Greetings! After much research and development (on many different test subjects), Aperture Science is finally proud to release their Handheld Portal Device! Soon you will be able to use portals to pass through walls, travel to your upstairs or fall FOREVER!

Now that all those pleasantries are over, Aperture Science Laboratories are looking for more test subjects! Sign up today!

Unfortunately, NECA is making the Portal gun, so it won’t actually be able to make portals, but at least the gun still looks cool! It’s full scale, and it will light up (with blue and orange lights), and there’s only going to be 5000 of them made! Now you’re wondering how you can get your hands on one, well that’s easy: just pre-order it from us! We’re expecting it around May, but we’ll ship it as soon as we get it.

Cake, lies, etc.

Remember those RPG patches we have near the cash register? The patches that say “ATK +5″ and “DEF +5″? Well, the Pixel Patches are back, but this time we have some new ones! There’s “+5 Charisma” and has a picture of a fancy tuxedo because everyone knows “the clothes make the man” or woman. Tuxedos increase anyone’s charisma. Recommended for use on tuxedos, suits, fancy hats, and tuxedo t-shirts. The second new patch is “Frost Defense +10″ which is pretty self-explanatory. This patch is recommended for tuques, hats, scarves, mitts, winter jackets, and long johns. Especially long johns.

If you ever needed to prove to your friends nerdy you are, these patches will seal the deal!

The biggest film so far this year is a hit! Hunger Games is based on a series of books that people seem to like – I don’t know much about them, to be honest! It sounds a lot like Battle Royale, or The Running Man, but that doesn’t matter – a good premise is a good premise! Dystopian-future-survival-game-show is rad no matter what movie it’s in.

Since The Hunger Games is such a big deal, we got to get the stuff for it, right? People love merchandise and we love merchandise too! We’re going to be getting the action figures, mini-figures, trading cards, and board game! Wow! The regular action figures are produced by NECA, and the mini-figures are in the style of the HeroClix. We should be getting all this stuff by Thursday or Friday. Come check it out!

I was psyched to hear they were going to make another Ninja Turtles movie. It’s a great franchise and a totally original idea. Well, apparently Michael Bay is producing the new film and he and his crew are changing one detail:

Mutants – Out! Aliens – IN!

That’s right, Mr. Bay is changing the origin story.  The turtles will not be turtles at all, but an alien race that -I assume – are going to look like turtles.

I should be doing that “nerd-rage” thing that seems to be in style at the moment, but instead I’m just confused. I guess it’s ultimately not that important where they come from as long as they’re funny and they know Kung-Fu. But on the flip side, if it’s not that important, then why change it at all? Are mutants not cool enough any more? Did aliens not test well enough with kids? I’m picturing it now: “Mommy, I didn’t like that Mutant Turtle movie. Mutants are stupid, they should have been aliens.”

Gray theorized the change was made so Michael Bay can reuse some space footage from the Transformers movies. I think it’s because Michael Bay fancies himself an auteur and actually makes impenetrable art house films disguised as confusing action movies based on 1980s children’s television licenses.

I’ll be seeing it anyway.

Beybladers! The Tournament of Champions is this weekend on Sunday, March 25! This will be the last Beyblade for a very long time, so let’s make this one count! Remember, the person who wins this tournament will get to be Reigning Beyblade Champion for a very long and indeterminate amount of time! Also know that the more people who come to this tournament, the better the prizes will be!

All the rules are the same as last time:

• From 1PM – 3PM
• At least one Beyblade is needed to play
• $5 to register (and register ASAP)
• And this one is for all the marbles!

The Champion’s name will be displayed on a special placard here at the store, so you can have bragging rights any time you’re in here! We hope to see all of you here this Sunday!

Looking for something to do over March Break? Toys on Fire has just the thing for you! We’re having Pokemon and Beyblade events everyday between 1-3PM! And it’s all free!

We can teach kids some tips and tricks for both Beyblade and Pokemon, or they can just show up and have a casual game from others around the neighbourhood!

We’ve also put our GoGo’s on BoGo for March Break! That’s buy one, get one free, for the uninitiated.

You gotta be here!